New Office, New Spirit... or not

There’s something about new office that could almost always draw a smile on one’s lips. The vibes, the ambience, the spotless desks, ala Ikea-styled (but rather stiff) chairs, pristine closets, stainless carpet – all contributed to the novelty of ‘rasmikan’ something sparkling new.

The office is more comfortable – larger room for most support staff, more spacious office for officers, and we could always rest our eyes on lots of greens in and around the building, as well as looking at the nice cute pond with sprinklers and a waterwall in the atrium. It’ll be extra cool to have a few Japanese carps in the pond. Really soothing.

And at last - we get a proper surau. Spacious, wall-to-wall dual-blended blue carpet, full length mirror, proper cabinet for the telekung, surah yaasin booklets, quran of various sizes, the works. Some guys have been taking the initiative to take turn becoming imam for Zohor and Asar prayers daily. I believe that the existence of this surau could invite more religious activities in the future, especially upon the arrival of this coming Ramadhan, insya Allah.

The building we are occupying is named LEO - not only in honour of our previous minister, but more because the building itself is equipped with energy efficiency features, hence Low Energy Office. The only of its kind in Putrajaya, a few officers had actually been trained to talk about the energy efficiency features for guided tour in and around the building.

I am a trained ‘tourist guide’ myself – and was asked to act as one of the three guides on duty when our first official visitors visited last Friday, a busload of Kedahan from Baling/Kuala Ketil. They let us know about their intention to visit us on a last minute notice – merely 4 hours before they arrived. Our KSU asked for three guides to be on stand by, and he specifically asked for Zaimy, Mohana and me. Instead of a lengthy explanation on materials used and all technical details about energy efficiency standard, thermal transfer, heat island effect, shading, thermal flue and stuff, we all cut the briefing short so as to ensure that the Muslim gents could be in time to pray Jumaat at Masjid Putra. Still, I was touched when the leader of the group proposed for an Ustaz who was among them to lead a doa selamat recital, upon learning that they were our first official visitors since our move to Putrajaya – may Allah bless them all.

They said that working in new office means that one should work with renewed spirit. Err, unfortunately, after almost three years of doing the same thing, I must admit that I don’t exactly feel that way about my job though. But at least, while all the PSMs and PPSMs are busy running here and there, ensuring that the Internet connection is working properly on every level, my colleagues and I could use Yahoo Messenger after a long absence. For now at least before they re-close some port or something…

Ayah's Love

I have never doubted that my father loves me unconditionally.

I have always known that – despite numerous misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, existence of generation gap and all.

And we had a lot of those - differences of opinion, disagreements and stuff. I have always been closer to Mak, preferring to sought Mak’s opinions out and listen to her advices.

Ayah is rather conservative – who believes that fathers are always right, to be obeyed at all times at all cost, no questions asked. He also has always put high expectations on my brothers and I – which could be really exasperating at times.

Like when I got mostly A’s for my SPM trial exam – Mak congratulated me and encouraged me to do better in the real exam. Ayah, on the other hand, asked, “Why didn’t you get all A’s?”

Then, there was that moment when I returned for summer break just before my final year in UK began. I was planning how to gently let Ayah know that I had been doing poorly during my second year as I found studying law was really, really depressing. Ayah however, had jumped upon the first chance when we had lunch together to enthusiastically discuss my ‘future plan’ which included getting a diploma in Syariah followed by practicing law with a respectable firm. I must had broken his heart when I announced that while I intend to finish the course and get a bachelor’s degree as a gift to both him and Mak, I had no intention whatsoever to climb up the ladder of success only to find later on that the ladder had been leaning on the wrong wall. I may love reading John Grisham books, but I just knew that my heart is not into practicing law.

Until today, from time to time, Ayah would mock me about taking the easy way out and not becoming a lawyer as he had planned, “anak Ayah ni penakut, tak nak masuk court…”

Still, I have always known that in his own ways, Ayah loves me.

#####

“Do you have any idea how much your Ayah loves you?”

“Sure, I know he loves me. I’m his only daughter,’ I quipped.

“No, seriously. Do you know that he has a high expectation on your future husband, that he has been searching all these years for someone who can protect, care for and love you wholeheartedly just so that he is assured that you will be in good hands and he no longer has to worry about you once you got married.”

‘Huh?”

“I can tell how much your Ayah really loves you every time we talk about you. I could sense his high hopes for me to take good care of you. Even your Ayah’s Ustaz said the same thing – your Ayah is not as worried about your brothers as much as he’s worried about you despite your apparent independence and all. I feel it was an honour to have gotten your parents’ blessings but I also know that with it, comes a great responsibility. I’m supposed to take care of the their eldest child, their only daughter, the apple of the father’s eyes. Your Ayah has agreed to entrust you into my care and he has every intention to see that I do a better job if not as well as he did, of caring for and protecting you”

Somehow, listening to that suddenly reminded me of long-suppressed childhood memories of Ayah...

When I was a toddler, Tok told me, often Ayah would be coming back home late at nights, took me out for a drive around the neighbourhood, let me play with the steering wheel for a while before tucking me back to sleep. He even installed a baby seater with a mock steering wheel next to the driver's seat for me.

When I was about six or seven, Ayah would still be coming back late, but would entertain Abang’s and my wish to go out and have some fried chicken and a bowl of banana split in a fast-food restaurant in Bukit Mertajam every now and then. We used to live in Kulim back then (and the Kulim-Butterworth expressway was not in existence then)

When I was about eight or nine and my family was in deep turmoil, Ayah did everything he could to ensure that Abang and I got to learn things our peers did despite missing going to school for almost a whole year. Still we did not miss that much as Ayah saw to it that we learn from the textbooks and still did our exercises.

When I was nine - perhaps partly due to my own naughtiness, and partly to the pressure I was subjected to - I had pneumonia. Initially Ayah thought it was a normal cold and fever case, so I was taken to a clinic. After visits to two other clinics in a span of one week and my condition did not improve, Ayah took me to the hospital - where I was immediately warded after being diagnosed of pneumonia. Ayah was the one who lost lots of sleep and had to spend more time away from his workplace to look after me as I was hospitalised for about a week. I remembered noticing how haggard he looked one day when he came to see me after work with a plastic of green apples in his hand. I remembered feeling thankful that I had Ayah who came to see me twice daily when a few of my neighbours seldom had any visitors coming to see them.

And all the moments when Ayah had to just get things done materialized in my mind. Flash shows of how Ayah had always proved that he’s the most reliable man around when it comes to saving stuff for last minute performance...

#####

And suddenly, all the quibbles I had had with Ayah in later years seemed so… trivial.

I have always known that Ayah loves me.
I have just never realised how deep and pure that love is from another man’s view.
I am glad that I do now...

Two Prayers

Promise me that nobody will take this too seriously, okay...
This one goes especially to my dear ahkak and kakaq... ;-p

=====
1. The Senility Prayer

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

2. Prayer for Ladies

God, I pray for
wisdom, to understand a man;
love, to forgive him;
patience, for his moods;
Because God, if I pray for strength,
I'll just beat him to death.

Who really makes a difference in our lives?

Another forwarded e-mail to think about - really...

=====

Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisemann trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of the Miss World contest.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor or actress.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier?

The lesson?

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.

They are the ones who care.

Ice Cream for the Soul

A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes - provided one doesn't suffer from diabetes or tooth ache ;-)

=====
Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart." Then in theatrical whisper he added, indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing, "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already."

- Anonymous

The 90/10 Principle

Sorry about posting more forwarded e-mails than usual lately.
A few reasons (excuses?):

1. We are moving to Putrajaya this weekend, so we're busy packing everything up... In fact I might not be posting anything tomorrow onwards until next week.

2. There's a personal big function coming up which makes me feel a bit - dysfunctional ;-) Yes dear friends (with whom I have been in touch lately), I am referring to that function la...

3. Even bloggers are entitled to our own bouts of bloggers' block, right?

So - here's an old forwarded e-mail re-received for your perusal

The 90/10 Principle

What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.

The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why?
Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge! Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off. Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90/10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90/10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.
There never seem to be a success in life.
Bad days follow bad days.
Terrible things seem to be constantly happening.
There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships.
Worry consumes time.
Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest.
Friends are lost.
Life is a bore and often seems cruel.

Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It will change your life.

The wonders of Pulau Redang

Pearly white sandy beaches, crystal clear turquoise sea, brilliant underwater world, spectacular starry nights, breathtaking sunrise… Pulau Redang is all that – and more…

Some of the team-building course activities actually reminded me a little of my days in PAC - ice-breaker session, random grouping, brainstorming, a quickie performance, etc. The jungle trekking on the second day was quite easy – completed in just about an hour.

But my first experience of snorkelling at Teluk Kalong and Teluk Mat Delah was something else – notwithstanding the initial adjustment (felt like I’ve drank 3 gallons of salty sea water) of having to breathe using my mouth. To describe how it felt feeding various kind of fishes of various colours from my own hand and floating among them is beyond description – the wonder, the marvel of being among Allah’s beautiful underwater creation. Words do no justice to describe the fascinating marine critters of different shapes, sizes and colours amidst an assortment of coral tables. Yes, my first experience of snorkelling was almost perfect.

Snorkelling was not the only activity on my ‘first-time’ list during my first visit to Pulau Redang, There was that fun banana boat ride where we were purposely ‘drowned’ (after properly attired with life vest, of course) in the open sea. While most of us fell off the boat only once, two girls fell down twice and the only guy in the ride – the one seated at the end of the boat – fell down thrice. (On a scale of one to ten, the fear factor for the ride would be about 3 with all the twists and numerous attempts by the boat puller to unseat us) Then, I also tried out single kayaking for the first time ever. Shahri, my kayak partner during OBS training in Lumut a few years back would have been proud to note that I remember a few little tricks that he had shared back then.

I could go on and on and on about my short stay in Pulau Redang – so here’s a peek at what I saw and experienced… (minus the underwater wonderland…)

What we saw on the way to Pulau Redang from Merang

-----

Where we stayed in Pulau Redang



-----

Where I kayaked to



-----

Where we arrived upon finishing the hour-long jungle trekking



-----


-----

One of the two boats that took us to the snorkelling bays



-----

All smiles! Mostly first-timers on Banana Boat... and most don't know how to swim



-----

Fear Factor= 3



-----

The four survivors (who only fell once)

Everyone is fighting a hard battle

He sounded a bit bitter when he told me that one of his sisters might not be back to attend an important family function.

“Nak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih. If money is the real reason, I won’t mind letting her use my own money first. But no, she asked for this function to be postponed as though everyone must cater to her needs.”

“Well, money might not be an issue to you, but she might look at things differently…”

“I know she doesn’t want to attend the function, but I can’t buy her lame excuses. At least my brother who’s teaching in Terengganu gave me a valid reason for not being able to make it because the function is held on a Sunday and that’s a working day in Sunday and he can’t afford taking too many days off. She though, is not living that far and it won’t cost that much for her to return and this is a really important family function, yet she told me she won’t be able to attend it until after she got her salary. What kind of excuse is that?”

He sounded really, really frustrated. He came back all the way from abroad to attend a similar gathering in honour of this particular sister a few years back and found it difficult to accept that she won’t be attending this function in his honour due to ‘money problem’.

On the other hand, I had a feeling that it might just went deeper than ‘money problem’. This particular sister had introduced him to a girl in her neighbourhood. He befriended the girl, and even agreed when his family asked him to ask for her hand in marriage. But just before they became formally engaged, he had a change of heart and stopped his mother from sending the engagement ring to the girl’s house. That incident of course really, really hurt the sister’s feeling.

Quietly, I remarked, “Look, I know how important this function is to you. I know you would be happy to have all your siblings present during the function. But you may want to consider that there might be some bitterness on your sister’s part after what you did. Yes, I do know that you feel strongly that the girl was not the one for you and you have more right to decide who you want to be with. But imagine how embarrassed she must be when she was the one who introduced the two of you in the first place. She must had said a lot of nice things about you to that girl – but in the end, after what took place, she must have felt mortified by your decision.”

He kept quiet for a while, then he changed the topic.

He has his own battle to fight. So does his sister.

I supposed Plato made a valid point when he reminded us to “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

#####

On another note, I’ll be away – attending a team building course in Pulau Redang – until Sunday. Am very excited for this is the first time I’ll be going to a nice island in the East Coast. Can’t wait to try out snorkelling!!! And we’ll be doing some jungle tracking too… Bestnye… bestnye…

Thinking Outside the Box

Here's a classic e-mail that I've enjoyed reading a few years ago - and enjoyed re-reading recently.

A Thinking Test

You are driving along on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who is sick and about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect man or woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to pick up, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady because she needs to get to a hospital right away; or you could take the old friend because he/she once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him/her back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations and think outside the box.

Moral: You are not always the victim in life; most of the time you are the victor looking at the situation from the wrong view! The view is yours to choose.

- Author Unknown

Gmail Invites

I've got 6 Gmail invites to give away.

And I'm in need of a'la Chicken Soup subjects to blog about.

So those interested in getting a free 1 gig e-mail account, just leave your suggestion(s) in the comment box - with your name and e-mail address (if possible try to avoid using Yahoo address...)

Most interesting 6 suggestions will get the invites, insya Allah.

UPDATE:

Dear Readers,

So far only one person who has actually contacted me via e-mail to give her suggestion. Thanks Kit - you've definitely earned it ;-)

I supposed it must be quite a daunting task to come up with a'la Chicken Soup topic, eh? So, I'm changing the task - just leave me a line of quotation that really moved you in the comment box, with your name and address...

5 quotations that is able to really touch me too will get the invites.

Long lasting words

I used to know a guy who called everybody “Darling” – the sweet receptionist, the young clerks, model-like secretaries, and cute female officers.

Since most people presume that I’m of rather serious nature on first meetings, he only started calling me “darling” after a few months of knowing me. No big deal really – but I did asked him not to address me with a supposed term of endearment when it means nothing at all. He immediately stopped calling me ‘darling’ and resorted back to address me by my name.

I guess when some priceless words get to be so easily and casually uttered by someone – somehow they lose the special meaning they were supposed to carry. It is flattering to be wooed and courted with sweet nothings – but when words that carry great significance are uttered so easily after only a short period of time of knowing each other - there’s a hollow feeling to those words. Like they mean nothing at all.

I know sometimes love could happen in an instance, or after a mere day, week, or a month of knowing someone. I know that right now I might be developing some deep feelings for someone who’s obviously nuts about me. But when he confessed his feelings in words that I value highly – I could not reciprocate.

Flattered as I was, I could not help feeling as though those words came too easily out of his mouth – and those that came too easily normally does not mean that much. Worse – they might not be long lasting.

Call me old-fashioned, but I would rather wait until after I got married, to be told of how much I’m cherished, and adored, and loved. Call me a hopeless romantic, but if given a choice, I would rather go through a long and slow courtship – only it must be one that will last for once and always. With words that will last just as long.

Annual Telekung Laundry Service

This year, like the past three years since I started joining this particular Ministry, I had been asked (again) to assist in organising the Malaysia ICT Week (an effort started as Asean Communications and Multimedia Expo – but had been upgraded to Malaysia ICT Week in 2002 as it began to comprise more ICT related events and exhibitions)

Like the past few years, the main event had once again been held in an international exhibition and convention centre in Seri Kembangan. Like the past few years, many junior officers had to be in attendance at the exhibition centre from morning till night on the day before the Official Opening Ceremony and all day long in the exhibition centre on the actual opening day. Like the past few years, we all had to make use of the small and stuffy surau at the end corner of the second floor.

“Kau bawak balik basuh la telekung-telekung ni A.Z. Aku rasa memang orang sini tak basuh – cuma kau je yang basuh setahun sekali, “ Sal suggested.

I took five pairs of telekung back home last year – bleached them, washed them with hot water, treated them with extra softener, got them nicely pressed and returned them back to the surau on the following day. I did exactly the same thing this year – that night when we had to be there for the rehearsal and last minute preparation, I brought back five pairs of telekung home to be ‘serviced’ accordingly.

A friend called as I was about to soak and bleach the not-so-white and stained telekungs. I told him what I was doing and his response was, “aikk, buka kedai dobi pulak ke?”

I know many would have thought what I did was just a bit strange. I know it’s quite unusual to find somebody taking back some telekungs from a public surau just to get them cleaned and pressed and brought them back to the surau the next day. It’s none of my responsibility and people would have thought that it would be the exhibition centre’s duty to keep the telekung clean.

Perhaps, I’ve read too many Chicken Soup books and was simply inspired by some stories which encouraged me to do some free ‘khidmat masyarakat’. Perhaps I just felt like it won’t cost me much to get the telekung cleaned but thought that clean telekung could make a lot of difference for the small-and-stuffy public surau users. Perhaps I was hoping that my little deed would in turn encourage my colleagues to carry out similar deed elsewhere.

Or perhaps I was merely seeking the satisfaction of hearing one surau user making an innocent remark to her friend (who obviously had no idea about my labour the previous night) “Bersih kan telekung kat sini, bukan senang nak jumpa telekung bersih kat surau awam”.

If only they have seen how filthy the soaked water was…